social media baffles me
I've been attempting to be more active on the "social" internet, largely with the purpose of sharing my work with others. A lot of my time online the past two decades has been spent reading and discovering whatever weird stuff is out there. Trying to make stuff and talk to people is shockingly difficult. Messages aren't responded to much and my posts are like journal entries I throw out to the wind. Very silent. On the other hand, I have had people at least engage with me for surprising (to me) reasons. I posted a video of a tui project I've been working on and it even made it to the top of tangled.org's trending list. Why that stood out to people, I don't know. Your guess is as good as mine. I posted an article about algebraic data types a few months ago on my substack and that turned out to be quite popular among my fellow f#/unctional programming nerds.
What I'm really getting at here is that even on the internet, I've still managed to feel like an outsider despite being here the whole time. It's not a feeling that's alien to me at all. I've always been an observer that clammed up a little bit or rambled on and on when engaged with. My theory is that I just don't talk enough and that hinders my confidence. Same with the online stuff. Life happens online and it's more of a reflection of what irl is. I'm awkward and pay attention to random things, and I'm just doing my best to find community.